Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and you are EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD. You dabble in the affairs of numerous subjects, including VIDEO GAMES and the occasional COMPUTER PROGRAM. You are much better than the trainwreck that was your programming CHILDHOOD. Several years ago, you played a game that ENDED THE WORLD. Thanks to a series of HORRIFYING EVENTS, the world is saved, and no one is the wiser of its DEMISE. Whether or not that is a good thing remains to be seen.

multi-fandom, semi-indie John Egbert Rp blog!
No Homestuck reading required.

i’ve been watching shitty movies since yesterday, and i feel a little disattached from the social dogma.

posted 10 hours ago with 3 notes





How to tell if it was a gunshot or fireworks: gunshots don’t echo, fireworks do. 


the fact that anyone might commonly need to know this terrifies me

clearly you’re not from america

[[ THIS IS UNTRUE!! gunshots echo just like every other loud sound. Noise doesn’t travel differently because its a bullet. Don’t get fooled brah ]]

Anonymous: i humbly request you watch at least the lowed rated movie on imdb


imdb says the lowest rated movie is an indian movie called gunday.

i’m gonna watch it.

posted 1 day ago with 15 notes
tags: +Anonymous

so who dares me to watch all the lowest rated movies on imdb?
if no one dares me, i will dare myself.

posted 1 day ago with 13 notes


Okay but Never Gonna Give You Up (better known as Rickroll) is actually a really really horrible song for many reasons, which I will better explain under the cut. 

Brace yourselves, this is pretty long.

Read More →


i want john to change his last name from egbert to “of the funk” asap or ill break up with him

changing my name isn’t going to bring us any closer to a world where naruto is real.

posted 2 days ago via davidstrider with 45 notes

things that suck about a time traveling boyfriend:

he stops time to steal the toilet paper when he notices you are heading to the bathroom. 

posted 2 days ago with 7 notes
Anonymous: Y'know what the best part of following you is? I followed you before I read Homestuck thinking you were just a blogger with a really strange boyfriend. And I enjoyed following you then. And then I read Homestuck and suddenly everything made sense and following you only got /better/. Your character development is amazing and I've rly enjoyed watching your John grow and change- and still remain a dorky kid at heart. <3


you just made my day :D 
i’m glad youve endured following john and his antics thus far lmao

posted 2 days ago with 33 notes


what did john even do to woo me? nothing just subjected me to hours of him making fart sounds with his armpit over skype my standards are rock bottom

do you know anybody else who can play “god save the queen” with their armpit?



there’s a dildo in the freezer.

i read this and immediately felt defensive

ftr its NOT MINE

i don’t know who it could belong to, but it fits in the seat of my remote controlled car, so i know what it is i need to do.